How to Know You’re Growing Spiritually (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It)
Read time: 14 minutes
Growing Spiritually Isn’t Always Obvious, But God Is Still Working
Have you ever wondered if you’re really growing spiritually? I know I have. There was a time when I thought I could measure my relationship with God by how I felt. If I walked away from my quiet time encouraged, I assumed I was growing. If worship brought me to tears, I believed God was especially close. If I couldn’t wait to open my Bible, I figured my faith was strong. Those emotional moments were wonderful, but they slowly became the way I measured my faith.
Then life changed.
There were seasons when my prayers felt ordinary. I would open my Bible, read a chapter, and not feel anything at all. Worship didn’t move me the way it once had, and I started wondering if something was wrong with me. Had I drifted from God? Had my faith become stagnant? Was I doing something wrong, or had I simply stopped growing?
Maybe you’ve asked those same questions.
You still read your Bible. You still pray. You still show up at church. You’re trying to be faithful, but you don’t feel different. Instead of walking away encouraged, you walk away wondering why your heart feels so ordinary. It’s easy to assume that if we can’t feel ourselves growing, then maybe we’re not growing at all.
But I’ve learned that spiritual growth doesn’t usually happen the way we expect it to.
Think about a tree for a moment. If you walked outside every morning and stared at it, you probably wouldn’t notice any change from one day to the next. Yet beneath the surface, the roots would continue growing deeper, drawing in water and becoming stronger with every passing season. Eventually, the fruit appears, but long before anyone sees it, something important has already been happening underground.
Our spiritual lives often work the same way.
Some of God’s deepest work takes place beneath the surface, long before we recognize the fruit in our own lives. While we’re wondering why we don’t feel different, He is quietly reshaping our hearts, renewing our minds, and teaching us to become more like Jesus. Growth often feels slow because God is interested in lasting transformation, not quick fixes.
Looking back over my own journey, I’ve realized that some of the seasons when I felt like I was growing the least were actually the seasons when God was doing His deepest work. I just couldn’t see it yet.
If you’ve been wondering whether you’re really growing in your faith, I’d love to encourage you with a few signs that God may be doing far more than you realize.
If you’ve been wondering why you don’t feel close to God, you may also be encouraged by my article When You Can’t Hear God: Finding Him in the Dry Seasons.
1. You Respond Differently Than You Used To
One of the clearest signs of spiritual growth isn’t found in dramatic worship experiences or emotional moments during your quiet time. More often, it’s found in the ordinary moments of everyday life.
Maybe you still struggle with impatience, but you don’t stay angry as long as you once did. Maybe you still battle anxiety, but your first response has become prayer instead of panic. Perhaps you still stumble in familiar ways, but now your heart is quicker to repent. You notice attitudes that never used to bother you, and conviction comes sooner than it once did.
Those changes may seem small, but they matter.
In fact, they’re often some of the clearest evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work within you.
I think one of the biggest lies we believe is that if we still notice our weaknesses, we must not be growing. But the opposite is often true. The closer we draw to Jesus, the more aware we become of our need for Him. Spiritual maturity doesn’t mean becoming less dependent on Christ. It means realizing just how desperately we need Him every single day.
Paul describes the evidence of God’s work in our lives as the fruit of the Spirit:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” — Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)
Notice that Paul calls it fruit.
Fruit doesn’t appear overnight. A healthy tree doesn’t strain to produce it. As long as the tree remains healthy and connected to its source of life, fruit gradually begins to grow. The same is true for us. As we remain connected to Christ, His Spirit slowly produces qualities in our lives that we could never manufacture through willpower alone.
That’s why it’s so important to occasionally stop and look back.
Where would you have reacted differently five years ago?
How has God softened your heart?
What fears no longer control you the way they once did?
Who have you forgiven that you never thought you could?
Sometimes we’re so focused on where we still need to grow that we completely overlook how faithful God has already been. Don’t miss the evidence of His work simply because it happened gradually.
2. You Trust God Before You Understand Him
If there’s one lesson God has been teaching me over the past several years, it’s that faith often grows most in the places where answers don’t.
It’s easy to trust God when life makes sense. It’s easy to believe He’s good when prayers are answered quickly, relationships are restored, and everything seems to be falling into place. But what about the seasons when none of those things happen? What about the prayers that seem to go unanswered or the situations that leave you wondering what God is doing?
I’ve walked through those seasons too.
There were times when I desperately wanted God to change my circumstances. I prayed for different outcomes, different answers, and different endings. Looking back now, I can see that while I was asking God to change what was happening around me, He was quietly changing what was happening within me.
At the time, I couldn’t appreciate that.
I simply wanted relief.
But God knew my greatest need wasn’t always the answer I was asking for. My greatest need was learning to trust Him even when I couldn’t understand what He was doing.
That’s the kind of faith that lasts.
Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (ESV)
I’ve noticed that one of the clearest signs of spiritual maturity isn’t having all the answers. It’s becoming willing to trust God without them.
That doesn’t mean we stop asking questions. It doesn’t mean we pretend everything makes sense. It simply means we’ve learned that God’s character is more dependable than our understanding. We can rest in who He is even when we don’t understand what He’s doing.
If you find yourself trusting God today in ways you couldn’t have a few years ago, don’t overlook that. If you’re learning to surrender situations you cannot control instead of trying to carry them yourself, that’s growth. If you’ve discovered that God’s presence is enough, even while you’re still waiting for answers, that’s growth too.
It may not always feel dramatic.
But it is evidence that your roots are growing deeper.
And deep roots always produce lasting fruit.
3. Growing Spiritually Means Becoming More Honest With God
One of the unexpected ways I’ve seen God grow my faith is through my prayer life.
When I was younger, I thought “good” prayers sounded polished. I carefully chose my words, trying to sound grateful, faith-filled, and confident. I wanted my prayers to sound like someone who had it all together. Looking back now, I realize I was spending more energy trying to sound spiritual than simply being honest.
Over time, God gently showed me that He wasn’t asking for polished prayers.
He was asking for my heart.
Now my prayers often sound much simpler.
Sometimes they’re nothing more than, “Father, I’m overwhelmed today.” Other times they’re, “I don’t understand what You’re doing, but I want to trust You.” And on some days, all I can manage is, “Jesus, help me.”
I’ve discovered that’s enough.
One of the most beautiful things about our relationship with God is that He already knows everything we’re thinking before we say a word. We’re never informing Him of something He doesn’t already know. He sees our fears, our doubts, our disappointments, and our questions long before we put them into words. Because of that, we don’t have to pretend.
David understood this well. That’s one of the reasons I return to the Psalms so often. David didn’t edit his emotions before bringing them to God. He celebrated when he felt joyful, cried when he was grieving, questioned when he was confused, and worshiped even while he was waiting for answers. He brought every part of himself into God’s presence.
“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” (ESV)
I love those words: pour out your heart.
God never tells us to hide our emotions from Him or pretend we’re stronger than we are. Instead, He invites us to bring everything into His presence. Honest prayers aren’t a sign of weak faith. More often, they’re evidence of a growing relationship. As we mature spiritually, we stop trying to impress God and begin trusting Him enough to let Him see us exactly as we are.
4. You Love Scripture Because It Helps You Know God
There was a season when I opened my Bible looking for a feeling.
I wanted encouragement. I wanted peace. I wanted a verse that seemed written just for me. There’s nothing wrong with those desires because God often meets us that way. But over time, I realized my quiet time had quietly become centered on what I wanted to receive instead of Who I was coming to meet.
Something changed when I started asking a different question.
Instead of asking, “What is this passage going to do for me?” I began asking, “What does this passage teach me about God?”
That simple shift transformed the way I read Scripture.
Some mornings I still don’t walk away feeling emotionally stirred. Some days my quiet time feels wonderfully ordinary. But even on those mornings, I leave knowing God a little better than I did before. I’ve learned something about His character, His faithfulness, His patience, or His love. And I’ve come to realize that’s far more valuable than chasing an emotional experience.
Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 3:16–17:
“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (ESV)
Scripture was never meant to simply make us feel something.
It was meant to shape us.
Every time we open our Bible, we’re spending time with the Author of life. He’s renewing our minds, gently correcting us when we’ve wandered, reminding us of what is true, and revealing more of His heart. Sometimes that work feels deeply encouraging. Other times it’s convicting. And many days, it simply feels ordinary.
I’ve started believing those ordinary days may actually be some of the most important ones.
Think about the believers you admire most. The women whose faith seems steady no matter what life throws at them. Their spiritual maturity wasn’t built on emotional highs alone. It was formed through thousands of ordinary mornings spent opening God’s Word, whispering faithful prayers, and choosing obedience when no one else was watching.
They didn’t become deeply rooted because every quiet time felt extraordinary.
They became deeply rooted because they kept showing up.
The same is true for us.
5. You’re Slowly Becoming More Like Jesus
Perhaps the greatest evidence of spiritual growth isn’t that you’re having more emotional experiences.
It’s that you’re becoming more like Jesus.
I think we sometimes imagine spiritual maturity looks like having all the answers, never struggling with doubt, or always feeling close to God. But Scripture paints a much different picture. God’s greatest desire isn’t to give us constant mountaintop experiences. His desire is to transform us into the image of His Son.
That kind of transformation usually happens quietly.
It looks like choosing forgiveness when everything inside you wants to hold on to bitterness. It looks like responding with gentleness instead of anger. It looks like becoming slower to judge, quicker to extend grace, and more willing to trust God when life doesn’t make sense.
Most of those changes happen so gradually that we hardly notice them.
Then one day you look back and realize you aren’t the same person you used to be.
The things that once consumed your thoughts no longer have the same hold on you. Situations that once sent you into panic now lead you to prayer. You find yourself extending grace where you once held resentment or trusting God in circumstances that would have filled you with fear a few years ago.
That’s the work of the Holy Spirit.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 3:18:
“And we all… are being transformed into the same image…” (ESV)
Notice that Paul says we are being transformed.
Not were transformed.
Not will someday be transformed.
We are being transformed.
It’s an ongoing work that God faithfully continues throughout our lives.
If you’ve been discouraged because you don’t feel like you’re growing, don’t measure your faith by your emotions. Instead, look at the direction of your life. Are you becoming a little more patient? A little more humble? A little quicker to trust God? A little more aware of how deeply you need His grace?
If the answer is yes, then God is working.
He has always been more interested in shaping your character than giving you constant emotional experiences. Feelings will come and go, but a heart that is slowly becoming more like Jesus is evidence that the Holy Spirit is faithfully completing the work He began in you.
Reflection
Take a few quiet moments with the Lord and reflect on what He may have been doing beneath the surface of your life. Where have you seen Him changing your heart over the past year? How has your response to difficult situations changed compared to a few years ago? Which fruit of the Spirit do you see Him producing most in your life right now, and where is He continuing to stretch you? Have you been measuring your spiritual growth by your feelings instead of by the evidence of His transforming work?
As you pray through those questions, remember that growth is often quieter than we expect. You may not always feel yourself changing, but every act of obedience, every honest prayer, every moment spent in God’s Word, and every step of faith is part of the beautiful work He is doing in your life. The God who began that work hasn’t stopped, and He isn’t finished with you yet.
Join the Conversation
If you’ve been wondering whether you’re really growing in your faith, I hope this encourages you: don’t let your emotions become the measure of your spiritual maturity. God often does His deepest work in the quiet, ordinary rhythms of everyday faithfulness. While we’re looking for dramatic moments, He’s patiently shaping our hearts, strengthening our trust, and making us more like Jesus one day at a time.
I’d love to hear from you. Which of these signs encouraged you the most today? Or maybe you’ve noticed another way God has been growing your faith that wasn’t mentioned here. Share your thoughts in the comments below. Your story may be exactly what another woman needs to hear.
And if this article encouraged you, would you consider sharing it with a friend? Sometimes we all need the reminder that growth isn’t always obvious, but if we’re continuing to seek Jesus, we can trust that He is faithfully accomplishing exactly what He promised.
